How many dates that you have been on could you really say were “great dates?” Well, probably not all that many. But when you have a great date, it is something that you will remember for a long time. Naturally, not every one ends up that way. So, what do you need to do to make a date a great one? Listed below are some thoughts that you may want to keep in mind to help make a great date.
RELAX
Relax and be yourself to begin with. Go to a nice restaurant and start off with a drink for both you and your date. While you are sitting there strike up a good conversation. That is really the important part. Make sure that the conversation is good and that there are not too many dead spots in the middle. This can help you through the rest of the evening.
MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE ATTENTIVE
Be very attentive. This does not simply mean that you are hanging on every word that the other person says or that you are being overly nice to the person. Being attentive, in this sense, means that you are reading and reacting to signs from the other person and to what the other person is not saying. This will show some sensitivity on your part which will mean a lot down the road further.
DON'T PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON THE DATE
Don't look at this date as though it is a real important event in your life. Just relax and take it easy. If you place too much importance on the date, it will tend to make you overly nervous thus causing you undo stress. Should this happen, your date will surely notice something is not quite right. So, just consider it just another date and pay attention to the little things that will make the difference.
DO NOT DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION
Be very careful not to dominate the conversation. It is sometimes easy, when you are nervous to go off on a tangent without really realizing it. Try to listen to yourself and talk in a quiet, normal manner. In that way your date will enjoy the conversation and will want to hear more of what you have to say. Also, be sure and listen when your date talks and be sincere in your reactions and responses. It is very important to be a good listener.
AVOID CERTAIN SUBJECTS
Avoid any conversation about former partners and be sure to stay away from the topic of sex. Sometimes the conversation turns in that direction but try and steer it into another area should that happen. There are plenty of other things to discuss without venturing into that area.
FOCUS ON YOUR DATE
Be sure to focus on your date. There may be a lot of activity around you. Try to ignore it as best you can and pay attention to who you are with. I am sure that you will like that in return.
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
Try and be as witty as you can without going overboard. A good sense of humor will be an asset to this evening. Don't forget that from this date you hope to get other dates with this person. So, inject some humor into the conversation and keep it as lively and fun as you can.
Above all, be confident about the evening and about yourself. This trait will be noticed by your date and will aid the evening .
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Preparing for that first date
Well, you have met someone online and communicated with them for a bit. Now, comes that time for which you have been preparing. Your first date with this “unseen” person. Do not spend too much time being excited about this event. Instead, start getting ready for this date so that you can make the best of the time that you spend together.
Where do you start and what should you plan? Well, that is up to you but we have provided a few ideas which might help to send you in the right direction.
Do not set the date too far away. Do not wait too long to go out on this date. You have been anticipating this for awhile so you want to get this scheduled very soon. If you don't, you will spend too much time thinking about it and that can eat away at your patience and make you even more nervous than you already are.
Make this an informal night out. For the first date you will probably want to make it something comfortable and casual. A movie, however, is not a great idea since the two of you are going to want to talk and find things out about each other. A movie cuts down on the time available to do that. Choose a nice informal setting where the two of you can be very comfortable.
Start with lunch, perhaps. Maybe you want to make the first date during the daylight hours. If this is the case, then you may want to consider meeting for lunch at a nice quiet little restaurant where you can easily talk. Make it a restaurant that has a varied menu since you may not know what type of food your date prefers. Something with a wide menu will probably offer something that he or she likes.
Pay attention to the person, not where you're going. As you make plans, be more concerned about the person with whom you are going out. Do not get bogged down in plans and thinking about where you are going. If you do this, you will lose sight of the fact that your main concern is your date.
Think about your appearance. You need not get all dressed up for this date. We mentioned earlier that this should be informal but comfortable. Choose a place to go that does not require you to dress up. Sure you should look nice. But you can look presentable and nice without having to put on a tux or even a suit.
Be humble in your conversation. Be careful with your conversation. Do not spend the time bragging about yourself or your family. This is a “get acquainted” date, so you do not want to put the other person off by putting yourself on a pedestal. Think mainly of your date and put yourself in the number 2 position.
You want to make this first date a fun time. But you also want to make it a date that will make the two of you want to see each other again. So, plan carefully and never lose sight of the purpose of this first date.
Where do you start and what should you plan? Well, that is up to you but we have provided a few ideas which might help to send you in the right direction.
Do not set the date too far away. Do not wait too long to go out on this date. You have been anticipating this for awhile so you want to get this scheduled very soon. If you don't, you will spend too much time thinking about it and that can eat away at your patience and make you even more nervous than you already are.
Make this an informal night out. For the first date you will probably want to make it something comfortable and casual. A movie, however, is not a great idea since the two of you are going to want to talk and find things out about each other. A movie cuts down on the time available to do that. Choose a nice informal setting where the two of you can be very comfortable.
Start with lunch, perhaps. Maybe you want to make the first date during the daylight hours. If this is the case, then you may want to consider meeting for lunch at a nice quiet little restaurant where you can easily talk. Make it a restaurant that has a varied menu since you may not know what type of food your date prefers. Something with a wide menu will probably offer something that he or she likes.
Pay attention to the person, not where you're going. As you make plans, be more concerned about the person with whom you are going out. Do not get bogged down in plans and thinking about where you are going. If you do this, you will lose sight of the fact that your main concern is your date.
Think about your appearance. You need not get all dressed up for this date. We mentioned earlier that this should be informal but comfortable. Choose a place to go that does not require you to dress up. Sure you should look nice. But you can look presentable and nice without having to put on a tux or even a suit.
Be humble in your conversation. Be careful with your conversation. Do not spend the time bragging about yourself or your family. This is a “get acquainted” date, so you do not want to put the other person off by putting yourself on a pedestal. Think mainly of your date and put yourself in the number 2 position.
You want to make this first date a fun time. But you also want to make it a date that will make the two of you want to see each other again. So, plan carefully and never lose sight of the purpose of this first date.
Is It Worth Paying for Online Dating?
There are many online dating services. Many of them start you off, or get you involved, by offering free services to look at prospective dates online. But you soon find out that the service is not free after all. If you want to make any contact with someone that looks interesting, you must first pay a fee. Even if someone sends you an email from the service, you cannot read it until you “insert the credit card.” This brings up a very interesting question. Why should you pay for an online dating service when there is no guarantee that it will be worth it?
With the many online dating services, there are some that really are totally free. This sounds good, at the outset, but you have to take certain things into consideration before you buy into one of these free sites. First, is it legit or is a scam? This is sometimes hard to determine. You really have to do some investigation. Also, if the site is free, it is very possible for children to become exposed to it. Do you really want to be a part of a site that permits this type of activity? The first advantage to an online dating service that charges a fee is that it excludes those people who are not really serious about finding someone to date. Plus it helps to assure that you are speaking with someone who is over the age of 18.
If you are participating in a paid online service, be sure that you know the service and that it is a reputable one. Some of them out there, will charge you for the service and then rip off your credit card. Be sure of who you are dealing with. Take the precautions that you need to take. You can even check the Better Business Bureau to help you in this area. There are numerous well known online dating services. Stick with them and leave the lesser known ones to someone else.
Be sure that you know how to cancel your subscription to this service. These services usually renew your subscription at the same time each month. More than likely you will lose track of when that time is. So, be sure that you know, up front, how to cancel your subscription so that you are not paying for services you do not want. It is usually stated when you sign up what the cancellation policy is, so make note of it and put it where you can locate it.
Online dating can be a very effective way of meeting someone if you make use of a reputable and well known company. Do some research and see what is out there and what companies are available. Are they reputable? Do they have a good track record? You can find out all of these things by doing some simple internet research. Protect yourself and your privacy with a company that you can trust. It may be a bit more work, but in the long run you will be glad you went to the trouble.
With the many online dating services, there are some that really are totally free. This sounds good, at the outset, but you have to take certain things into consideration before you buy into one of these free sites. First, is it legit or is a scam? This is sometimes hard to determine. You really have to do some investigation. Also, if the site is free, it is very possible for children to become exposed to it. Do you really want to be a part of a site that permits this type of activity? The first advantage to an online dating service that charges a fee is that it excludes those people who are not really serious about finding someone to date. Plus it helps to assure that you are speaking with someone who is over the age of 18.
If you are participating in a paid online service, be sure that you know the service and that it is a reputable one. Some of them out there, will charge you for the service and then rip off your credit card. Be sure of who you are dealing with. Take the precautions that you need to take. You can even check the Better Business Bureau to help you in this area. There are numerous well known online dating services. Stick with them and leave the lesser known ones to someone else.
Be sure that you know how to cancel your subscription to this service. These services usually renew your subscription at the same time each month. More than likely you will lose track of when that time is. So, be sure that you know, up front, how to cancel your subscription so that you are not paying for services you do not want. It is usually stated when you sign up what the cancellation policy is, so make note of it and put it where you can locate it.
Online dating can be a very effective way of meeting someone if you make use of a reputable and well known company. Do some research and see what is out there and what companies are available. Are they reputable? Do they have a good track record? You can find out all of these things by doing some simple internet research. Protect yourself and your privacy with a company that you can trust. It may be a bit more work, but in the long run you will be glad you went to the trouble.
Getting more dates
Your first date with someone can make you a bundle of nerves. Just sitting around and thinking about that first date can drive you crazy. By the time you get there, it can look like you drank five gallons of coffee beforehand. And figuring what to say and what to talk about can cause long minutes of silence which will not end up helping you in the long run. This is an awkward situation, at best, so it may take some creativity on your part to move this upcoming date along. Don't forget, if it is boring you probably won't get another shot.
Your first date with someone new should be spent someplace where the two of you can talk to each other and learn something about each other. For this reason, a movie on the first date is usually not a good idea since you are sitting there for two hours without being able to communicate. But some people still go that route. It is usually better to choose someplace where you can move around a bit and talk. There are any number of great places you can take your date on the first date that will be fun and still afford you the opportunity to talk. Many times there are great places right in your neighborhood that you never noticed. Remember, that people who live in New York, seldom go to Broadway shows. Well, it is the same in your neighborhood. There are great places right under your nose that you have never explored. Now is the time.
Try and choose someplace interesting such as an amusement park or an historic place. Both of these locations will help to stimulate conversation in many different areas. As you walk around and talk about what you are seeing, you will find out interesting facts about each other. Even a local park is a great place to just stroll around and look at the scenery while you both talk about whatever comes into your mind. Many cities have some small park someplace where you can walk and sit down to rest when you come across a nice grassy area. If it is warm outside there will be others in the park which will help to stimulate conversation as you see them walking, running or whatever.
In the event that it rains and you cannot be outside, you can always go to a shopping mall and walk around and “people watch.” Or, do the obvious and do some shopping while you are there. After you are finished with that, there are usually restaurants or coffee shops at a mall where you can sit down and relax with something to eat and drink.
Try to plan your time out so that you still have some time later on to do something else. You might consider bowling or going to a bookstore or even a sporting event that might be taking place. This will get you both interacting which will relax you and further the conversation.
So, before you set up that first date, do a survey of the neighborhood and see what great things there are to do that you really have never noticed before.
Your first date with someone new should be spent someplace where the two of you can talk to each other and learn something about each other. For this reason, a movie on the first date is usually not a good idea since you are sitting there for two hours without being able to communicate. But some people still go that route. It is usually better to choose someplace where you can move around a bit and talk. There are any number of great places you can take your date on the first date that will be fun and still afford you the opportunity to talk. Many times there are great places right in your neighborhood that you never noticed. Remember, that people who live in New York, seldom go to Broadway shows. Well, it is the same in your neighborhood. There are great places right under your nose that you have never explored. Now is the time.
Try and choose someplace interesting such as an amusement park or an historic place. Both of these locations will help to stimulate conversation in many different areas. As you walk around and talk about what you are seeing, you will find out interesting facts about each other. Even a local park is a great place to just stroll around and look at the scenery while you both talk about whatever comes into your mind. Many cities have some small park someplace where you can walk and sit down to rest when you come across a nice grassy area. If it is warm outside there will be others in the park which will help to stimulate conversation as you see them walking, running or whatever.
In the event that it rains and you cannot be outside, you can always go to a shopping mall and walk around and “people watch.” Or, do the obvious and do some shopping while you are there. After you are finished with that, there are usually restaurants or coffee shops at a mall where you can sit down and relax with something to eat and drink.
Try to plan your time out so that you still have some time later on to do something else. You might consider bowling or going to a bookstore or even a sporting event that might be taking place. This will get you both interacting which will relax you and further the conversation.
So, before you set up that first date, do a survey of the neighborhood and see what great things there are to do that you really have never noticed before.
Creating Interest on the First Date
If you have been talking with someone online, eventually the next step is to meet that person, face to face for a first date. Let's face it you can talk with this person endlessly online but nothing more will ever happen until you take that next step. And this can be a very scary next step to take. This is a risky thing to do. Even though you may have been talking to this person for quite sometime, you do not really know how honest this person has been with you. But, in order for things to go anywhere, you do need to take the chance. You will date many people who are dead ends, but it is possible to arrive at a successful relationship. But you will not know that until you take that step.
For the first date, you may want to meet at a very public place. And when I say meet, I mean do not travel in one car. Each of you should drive and meet at this location. It is not a good idea to get into a car with someone that you have never met for a first date. That can be taking a big chance. Also try to make this first date during the daytime hours. If that still does not relax you enough, you can suggest making it a sort of group date, where you go somewhere with a group of friends.
What do you want to do on your first date? That is a very good question. It is tough to know what to do on a first date with someone that you have never met. You will both want to communicate with each other so that you can get to know each other a bit. So, a movie is probably not a great idea for this date. You will want to do something that gives you a bit more freedom. Try something that interests the both of you based on your online profiles. That way you will be doing something that both of you enjoy. You could go bowling, or attend a ballgame or perhaps go to an amusement park. If you want something a bit more quiet, you can always meet for coffee at a quiet little coffee house some afternoon. If you want something really low key and mellow, you could also just meet at the mall and do some shopping or just walk at the mall. Walking is a great activity and you cannot get much more public than at the mall.
But be sure that you make it something that both of you enjoy. If, during the date, you realize that neither of you are having fun, then you can end the date early and you will both be happy. On the other hand, if both of you are having fun and you are enjoying the time, then perhaps that may open the door for another date sometime down the road. But remember, before you go on the date, you must be prepared for it to be either a positive or negative experience.
For the first date, you may want to meet at a very public place. And when I say meet, I mean do not travel in one car. Each of you should drive and meet at this location. It is not a good idea to get into a car with someone that you have never met for a first date. That can be taking a big chance. Also try to make this first date during the daytime hours. If that still does not relax you enough, you can suggest making it a sort of group date, where you go somewhere with a group of friends.
What do you want to do on your first date? That is a very good question. It is tough to know what to do on a first date with someone that you have never met. You will both want to communicate with each other so that you can get to know each other a bit. So, a movie is probably not a great idea for this date. You will want to do something that gives you a bit more freedom. Try something that interests the both of you based on your online profiles. That way you will be doing something that both of you enjoy. You could go bowling, or attend a ballgame or perhaps go to an amusement park. If you want something a bit more quiet, you can always meet for coffee at a quiet little coffee house some afternoon. If you want something really low key and mellow, you could also just meet at the mall and do some shopping or just walk at the mall. Walking is a great activity and you cannot get much more public than at the mall.
But be sure that you make it something that both of you enjoy. If, during the date, you realize that neither of you are having fun, then you can end the date early and you will both be happy. On the other hand, if both of you are having fun and you are enjoying the time, then perhaps that may open the door for another date sometime down the road. But remember, before you go on the date, you must be prepared for it to be either a positive or negative experience.
Dating strategies
When you first go out on a date with someone, you want to start out on the right foot. This is a very stressful experience, so you want to begin right so things can move along smoothly. You need to get to know them and they need to get to know you. So, the first piece of advice, is be yourself.
Secondly, make sure that you dress correctly for your date. We are in an age, unfortunately, when people do not want to “dress up” anymore. Too many people do not care how they look when they leave their house. Well, on your first date with someone you need to make that a priority. You want to look nice so that the other person knows that you are concerned about your appearance. This will also tell them that you care about how they perceive you.
One thing that has fallen by the wayside, is manners. When you are out on a date be sure and open doors for your date. This means not just car doors but any doors that you encounter, that need to be opened. This will impress your date, especially since a lot of people do not do this anymore.
Now, if you are on a date with someone who is a feminist, you may need to temper that approach a bit. You may want to let her open her own doors. She may even want to pay for her own meal. This is something that you will have to take a look at and make a decision for yourself. It may be safe to take the cautious approach on the first date and just let her do these things for herself. You can re-evaluate later on. If the lady is not a feminist, however, then open the doors for her. Also, make sure that you are on time to pick her up for the date. And it should go without saying that you should be prepared to foot the entire bill for the date.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to do and where to go on a first date. Since the two of you do not know each other, you do not know what each other's likes and dislikes might be. Do not go somewhere that you cannot afford. This will not make you look good, necessarily, especially if you cannot pay the bill. And never, ask your date for money, if you are a little short of cash.
You need to use this date to get to know each other a little. But, at the same time, be careful not to turn the date into an interview type of situation. Keep everything casual and friendly and strike up conversations from which you may gain some knowledge of this person. Make the atmosphere warm and comfortable for the both of you. If you already have known the person from work or another situation, that will help. You will, at least, have some sort of starting point for the conversation. But you will still need to keep it as casual as possible.
Secondly, make sure that you dress correctly for your date. We are in an age, unfortunately, when people do not want to “dress up” anymore. Too many people do not care how they look when they leave their house. Well, on your first date with someone you need to make that a priority. You want to look nice so that the other person knows that you are concerned about your appearance. This will also tell them that you care about how they perceive you.
One thing that has fallen by the wayside, is manners. When you are out on a date be sure and open doors for your date. This means not just car doors but any doors that you encounter, that need to be opened. This will impress your date, especially since a lot of people do not do this anymore.
Now, if you are on a date with someone who is a feminist, you may need to temper that approach a bit. You may want to let her open her own doors. She may even want to pay for her own meal. This is something that you will have to take a look at and make a decision for yourself. It may be safe to take the cautious approach on the first date and just let her do these things for herself. You can re-evaluate later on. If the lady is not a feminist, however, then open the doors for her. Also, make sure that you are on time to pick her up for the date. And it should go without saying that you should be prepared to foot the entire bill for the date.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to do and where to go on a first date. Since the two of you do not know each other, you do not know what each other's likes and dislikes might be. Do not go somewhere that you cannot afford. This will not make you look good, necessarily, especially if you cannot pay the bill. And never, ask your date for money, if you are a little short of cash.
You need to use this date to get to know each other a little. But, at the same time, be careful not to turn the date into an interview type of situation. Keep everything casual and friendly and strike up conversations from which you may gain some knowledge of this person. Make the atmosphere warm and comfortable for the both of you. If you already have known the person from work or another situation, that will help. You will, at least, have some sort of starting point for the conversation. But you will still need to keep it as casual as possible.
Is blind date for you?
Blind dating has been around for a long time. In high school, you probably, at one time or another, went out on a blind date. It seems to be a very common practice during those years or, at least, it use to be. Blind dates are normally set up via a friend of yours who knows you very well and the other party very well. The theory here is that this friend feels that you and the other party will hit it off well, thus the reason for the arrangement.
The question is whether you feel comfortable going out on a blind date or not. For some reason, I have found out that the older you get, the more uncomfortable some people seem to be with the blind dating arrangement. I am not real sure why that is but if you stop and look at the idea, it may not be something that you really need to be overly concerned about. If you are approached about the idea of a blind date, try to consider some of the following ideas.
If this friend of yours knows you well and knows the other party equally as well, there may be something here worth checking out. Since this person knows both of you so well, he may see a very good reason why this date may work out positively. Think seriously about going and giving this a chance.
Before this date actually takes place you probably will have no idea what this other person even looks like, much less have any idea what they are like. Perhaps you have been shown a picture, but do not forget, pictures can sometimes be deceiving. People can look a little different than in the one snapshot that you were shown.
So, of course, you are going to be a little bit nervous about this date since you have never met this person. But keep in mind that the other person will be equally uneasy about it because they have not met you either. The both of you will be starting out on fairly equal ground on this count. The very concept of the blind date makes the parties a little tentative since neither one of you is sure if you will like the other party or not. I do not care how glowing the recommendations have been, the chemistry may or may not be just right.
There are many success stories that stem out of blind dates. Granted, not all of them end positively but many of them will. This is particularly true if the person who set the date up is a good friend of both parties. Knowing each person well, can help in pairing two people up.
Try to find out as much as you can about the person that you will be going out with. Since your friend knows them well, hopefully, they can be a big help in preparing you for the type of person with whom you will be spending the evening. If you have enough faith in the friend you will know, at least, that the evening will not be a total waste. And if the date does not go totally as well as you had hoped, you still may end up becoming a good friend with someone that you would have otherwise never met.
The question is whether you feel comfortable going out on a blind date or not. For some reason, I have found out that the older you get, the more uncomfortable some people seem to be with the blind dating arrangement. I am not real sure why that is but if you stop and look at the idea, it may not be something that you really need to be overly concerned about. If you are approached about the idea of a blind date, try to consider some of the following ideas.
If this friend of yours knows you well and knows the other party equally as well, there may be something here worth checking out. Since this person knows both of you so well, he may see a very good reason why this date may work out positively. Think seriously about going and giving this a chance.
Before this date actually takes place you probably will have no idea what this other person even looks like, much less have any idea what they are like. Perhaps you have been shown a picture, but do not forget, pictures can sometimes be deceiving. People can look a little different than in the one snapshot that you were shown.
So, of course, you are going to be a little bit nervous about this date since you have never met this person. But keep in mind that the other person will be equally uneasy about it because they have not met you either. The both of you will be starting out on fairly equal ground on this count. The very concept of the blind date makes the parties a little tentative since neither one of you is sure if you will like the other party or not. I do not care how glowing the recommendations have been, the chemistry may or may not be just right.
There are many success stories that stem out of blind dates. Granted, not all of them end positively but many of them will. This is particularly true if the person who set the date up is a good friend of both parties. Knowing each person well, can help in pairing two people up.
Try to find out as much as you can about the person that you will be going out with. Since your friend knows them well, hopefully, they can be a big help in preparing you for the type of person with whom you will be spending the evening. If you have enough faith in the friend you will know, at least, that the evening will not be a total waste. And if the date does not go totally as well as you had hoped, you still may end up becoming a good friend with someone that you would have otherwise never met.
